Friday, July 20, 2012

Day 3 Part 2~ Liam forever in our arms!

Once we finally got back to the hotel, we took showers and got ready to go meet our son!  It was a short cab ride to the agency.  It wasn't at all what I had pictured in my head (nothing ever is).  We walked in and was directed toward DJ's (our social worker) office.  She led us to the meeting room where we waited for what seemed like an eternity!  I thought that DJ was going to come back into the room and say "are you ready to meet your son?" or something like that, some kind of warning, but the door opened and in walked Liam!  I was in shock and in awe of just how perfect he really was and how real this had become.  My heart just about burst out of my body, I felt so much love.  I teared up a bit but surprisingly didn't cry.  He was about to run in and then when he saw us he made a dash for the door and his umma (foster mama).  She held his hand and brought him back in.  He started playing with Dave, throwing everything that he got his hands on (playfully).  He climbed up, he climbed down, he giggled.  We gave him a stuffed monkey and a car that he played with.  I was able to sit down with his foster mother and DJ and ask questions.  It was so hard to stay focused when my amazing and adorable son was playing with my husband.  I couldn't keep my eyes off of him!  He was just so busy from the start that it was hard to have that moment where I could place my hand on him and take it all in.  But it was so great because he was just so happy.  His umma was so sweet and we could see how much that she loved Liam.  There was one moment where I started to cry when I asked her what she would like us to tell Liam about her when he got older and she responded that "she would always love him and that she would always be his umma".  I love this woman with all of my heart for caring for and loving my son for over a year.  It was then time to go downstairs and have his check up.  He wasn't the biggest fan of the doc checking his ears but it was over with very quickly and he was back to playing.  The taxi had arrived and we all went outside, Liam's foster mother was holding him.  When we got next to the car, she took one last moment to say her goodbye's to him.  It was heart wrenching, it still is to think about it.  He didn't cry, I did, she did, but he was just in shock I think.  She handed him over to me and we got in the car.  DJ and umma waved goodbye and off we went.  It was so very hard to say goodbye.  He gave us some smiles, he stood up and pointed to the cars behind us.  He was happy in the cab.  Once we got to the hotel, he was very quiet and gripping my shirt pretty tight.  I could tell that he was nervous.  We walked into the room and he eventually fell asleep on my chest.  I sat down on the couch and he slept for about 30 minutes and when he woke up he didn't lift his head but he was looking around, still clinging to me.  He started to make quiet wimpering sounds and then I felt tears coming down his face.  It broke my heart.  He was trying so hard to be brave and hold it in but just couldn't anymore.  He broke down sobbing.  We held him tight, trying to console him.  He cried for about 10 minutes and then we decided to try the carrier outside.  He calmed down immidiately after leaving the room.  We walked around the outside of the hotel and then took him to the playground.  It took him a few minutes to get comfortable enough to play but then he had a great time running and playing on the playground.  We went and grabbed some subway sandwiches and took them back to the room.  We learned that he loved to push the elevator buttons and guess which door would open!  We also learned that he loved TV and the remote control.  We had put it on the disney channel which had the end of a cartoon on it. When the cartoon was over, High School Musical (in Korean) came on and he was entranced.  It was then 11pm and we needed to get him to sleep.  He DID NOT want in our bed, so we took the crib mattress out and put it on the floor along with the couch cushions covered with a sheet.  He refused to get on the mattress and finally fell alsleep on the floor, sitting up against the bed.  I was finally able to get him down onto the matress and he slept all night until about 8:30am.  We were exhausted but just so happy to watch him sleep.

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